Lasting negative thoughts from childhood experiences

Research shows that among all the psychological factors that can negatively affect people who experienced adversity during childhood (ACEs), one of the most important is the development of rigid and negative thinking patterns. In psychology, these are often referred to as maladaptive schemas.

These patterns influence how a person interprets the world, relationships, and themselves. They tend to form in environments where there was emotional neglect, abuse, or abandonment.

Some common examples of harmful thinking patterns include the following:

Feeling disconnected or rejected
The person believes they are unlovable, that no one will truly care for them, or that others will always leave.
Examples:
• “I don’t deserve love”
• “If people really get to know me, they’ll leave”
• “No one will ever be there for me”

Feeling incapable or worthless
The person believes they are not good enough, that they can’t do things on their own, or that they’re destined to fail.
Examples:
• “I’m useless”
• “I can’t do this”
• “Everyone else is better than me”

Having difficulty setting boundaries or controlling impulses
The person may act impulsively or let others cross their boundaries because they never learned how to protect themselves or say no.
Examples:
• “I don’t know when to stop”
• “I just go along even when I don’t want to”
• “I don’t want to cause trouble, so I stay quiet”

These patterns, even though they were formed in childhood, can be triggered in adulthood when something resembles the original adversity. Once activated, they tend to generate intense emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, or a sense of failure, and they increase the risk of developing depressive symptoms.

Why are these patterns important?
They are important because they often get in the way of how we relate to others, how we make decisions, and how we feel about ourselves. They tend to operate silently in the background, influencing our reactions even when we don’t notice.

Can these patterns be changed?
Yes, but the first step is recognizing that they exist. Sometimes we treat ourselves harshly without knowing why. Learning to identify these patterns, seeking new and safer experiences, and practicing self-compassion can make a real difference. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but with support, many people succeed in building healthier and kinder ways of thinking.