Personal agency: What it is and how to strengthen it

Agency is the ability to recognize that you do have some choice in how you respond to what happens to you, even if you can’t control others or your environment. It’s not “victim-blaming”; it’s about regaining options.

• It’s moving from “this happens to me” to “I choose how to respond to this.”

• It’s the feeling of being in the driver’s seat of your life, not just in the backseat.

• It’s realizing there’s more than one option, and you can try something different from your usual automatic reactions.

• It’s authenticity in the present: responding from what you need now, not only from old survival habits.

What agency is NOT:

• It’s not controlling others or the situation.

• It’s not “everything depends on me.”

• It’s not ignoring pain or forcing yourself to “think positive.”

• It’s not about being perfect — it’s about a bit more freedom in each choice.

Adverse Childhood Experiences can lead to automatic responses (e.g., freezing, pleasing, avoiding, lashing out).

Agency expands the space between stimulus and response and helps you make choices that align with your current values and self-care.

"I organize my experience" → I ask myself: What do I actually have control over right now?

"I feel less like a victim" → I acknowledge what happened and notice where I still have choice today.

"I am not just my past" → I can make a different choice from what I always used to do.

"I'm in the driver’s seat" → I make small intentional choices (timing, boundaries, support).

"I can’t control others, but I can navigate" → I adjust my steps, not other people.

"I understand myself with more nuance" → I can see my strengths and limits without judging myself.

"I connect to my truth" → I distinguish between what I learned to survive and what feels right today.

"I act authentically" → I respond to the current moment, not on autopilot.

"I feel more internal capacity" → I handle stress better and make calmer decisions.

"It’s self-empowerment" → I can ask for help and set boundaries.

"I come home to myself" → I treat myself like someone who matters.

Quick checklist: Am I acting with agency?

I identified what I can control.

I considered at least 2 options.

I chose an action aligned with my current values.

I communicated with respect and boundaries.

I learned something for next time.

If a situation is unsafe or overwhelming, asking for help (from friends, family, campus services, or mental health professionals) is also agency.

Seeking support is a form of choice.