When triggers keep you stuck

In life, some feelings come and go like the weather, while others settle in like a constant climate, coloring how we experience each day. Sometimes, that intense reaction you feel isn’t really about what’s happening now, it’s about a trigger: something that, while safe in the present, sparks the same fear or pain you felt during a real moment of danger.

How a trigger works

Imagine you come across a rattlesnake while hiking. In a split second, your body floods with adrenaline, fear, and the urge to run. This built-in survival response keeps us alive in the face of real threats.
The problem comes when your brain pairs that reaction with something harmless; like a smell, a sound, a place, or a tone of voice. From then on, whenever that cue appears, your body reacts as if you were facing the rattlesnake again.

The avoidance cycle

Because that reaction is uncomfortable, the natural instinct is to avoid it. And every time you avoid it and “survive,” your brain thinks it worked, reinforcing the idea that the situation is dangerous. Over time, avoidance spreads: you stop going certain places, bringing up certain topics, or doing things you once enjoyed. The result: more anxiety, less freedom.

Breaking the link

The good news is that you can unpair the trigger from the danger response. The key isn’t forcing yourself into everything at once, but facing the trigger in small, safe doses.

• Choose a situation that sparks your reaction but is objectively safe.

• Stay with it for one minute, breathing slowly, noticing how the intensity rises and falls.

• Repeat the step on different days.

Each time you do this and make it through, your brain learns the cue is safe. Over time, the reaction fades.

Bringing it into daily life

You can combine this approach with the weather vs. climate method you’ve learned:

1. Identify whether what you’re feeling is tied to a single moment or part of a recurring pattern.

2. Choose a small, controlled step toward the situation instead of avoiding it.

3. Return to the present afterward, noticing where you are, what you see, and what you hear, reminding your body it’s no longer in that past moment.

Signs you’re making progress

You might notice the trigger doesn’t hit as hard, your anxiety fades more quickly, or you can do something you once avoided. Don’t aim to erase the reaction overnight; focus on regaining choices so you’re no longer living at the mercy of old reflexes.