How do you experience intimacy and emotional connection with others?

Intimacy doesn’t just refer to romantic relationships—it’s about our ability to open up emotionally, accept support, and build trusting connections. This capacity is shaped in childhood and can be affected by difficult experiences. Sometimes we learn to shut down, to distrust, or to stay alert as a way to protect ourselves.

📝 Assessment activity

This exercise can help you explore how you’re currently relating to others. There are no right or wrong answers. Just choose the option that feels closest to your experience in each group.

1. Ability to accept emotional support

A. I feel able to receive emotional support when I need it
B. Sometimes it’s hard to accept support, even though I know I need it
C. I find it very difficult to trust others or allow them to support me

2. Relationship with vulnerability

A. I can recognize my emotional needs and express them when I feel safe
B. I sometimes feel confused or uncomfortable when showing vulnerability
C. I avoid being vulnerable, even when something hurts or overwhelms me

3. Trust in others

A. I feel I can trust certain people and recognize their good intentions
B. Sometimes I struggle to tell the difference between a real threat and a misunderstanding
C. I tend to expect the worst from others or assume they want to hurt me

4. Relationship with helping figures (therapists, teachers, mentors, etc.)

A. I’m open to working with helping figures and recognizing their good intentions
B. I sometimes feel suspicious of those who try to help me, even if I’m not sure why
C. I find it hard to trust helping figures or tend to get defensive around them

What to do with your answers:

Look at which letter you chose most often: A, B, or C.

• Mostly A: You’re functioning from a place of emotional openness and capacity for intimacy. You’re able to build trusting relationships, recognize when you need support, and receive it.

• Mostly B: You’re in an in-between space. Sometimes you can open up, but other times fear, doubt, or past experiences get in the way. Acknowledging this tension is an important step.

• Mostly C: You may have learned to protect yourself by shutting down emotionally or being distrustful. That strategy likely helped you in the past, but it might be limiting you now. Consider whether you’re in a place where you could begin exploring safer ways to connect with others.