Stay calm in stressful situations

Stress is not the same for everyone and it cannot be managed with a universal recipe. What one person finds unbearable, another may find only a minor discomfort. An exam, a meeting with the boss, an argument with a partner, or a traffic delay are experienced differently depending on each person’s history, character, and resources. That is why managing stress does not mean copying what works for someone else, but finding the way that works for oneself. It is like looking for a remedy for sleep: some people read, others drink an herbal tea, and others listen to soft music. There is no single path; the key is to discover your own.

The foundation of this discovery lies in distinguishing what we can control from what we cannot. Much of our suffering comes from trying to fight the inevitable: like trying to stop the rain with a broken umbrella or expecting someone to change their character overnight. Such battles are lost before they even begin and only lead to exhaustion. By accepting the limits of what is in our hands, an immediate relief appears, because we stop investing energy in lost causes and redirect it toward what can truly be transformed.

Understanding this difference generates inner freedom. It is not the freedom to do whatever we want at any moment, but the ability to choose our attitude in the face of events. In this way, we stop reacting automatically and begin to respond with awareness. The difference is evident in how we position ourselves:

• Those who feel like victims believe they have no choice and that life drags them along.

• Those who recognize themselves as protagonists admit what is happening but decide what to do with it.

This distinction is reflected in everyday life: an employee who receives unfair criticism and, instead of exploding, responds calmly; a mother who, faced with a difficult diagnosis, focuses her energy on the possible care; a student who cannot change the date of an exam but organizes their time to be prepared.

For this freedom to be real, goodwill is not enough; resources are needed in three complementary dimensions:

1. The practical dimension, which includes the ability to solve problems, organize time, set priorities, say no, delegate, or ask for help. Without these skills, stress grows because what could be solved accumulates and turns into a mountain.

2. The mental dimension, which consists of recognizing and transforming thoughts that fuel anxiety. Often, it is not the event itself that weighs us down, but the story we tell ourselves: “I’m going to fail,” “this will be a disaster,” “everyone is against me.” Such ideas increase tension more than the situation itself.

3. The regenerative dimension, which encompasses rest, exercise, nutrition, leisure, and social interaction. No one can sustain themselves if they are exhausted; without physical and emotional energy, no practical or mental strategy works effectively.

Imbalance arises when one of these dimensions is overused and the others are neglected. The person who only acts ends up exhausted like an engine without oil; the one who only rests avoids problems until they explode like a pressure cooker; the one who only reflects gets trapped in a labyrinth of thoughts that go nowhere.

True strength emerges when the three are integrated. Knowing when to act directly, when to change our interpretation of events, and when to stop and recover makes stress manageable instead of overwhelming. Life cannot be sustained with a single response, just as a melody cannot be composed with only one note. Harmony appears when action, perspective, and recovery are combined, allowing us to move through tension with greater balance.

The result is not the disappearance of problems, but a more conscious way of facing them. It is not about perfection or absolute control, but about avoiding rigidity and broadening the repertoire of responses. Those who maintain this flexibility can build a calmer life, even in the midst of adversity.