How do you experience connection?

How do you experience connection?

Our ability to feel connected (to ourselves, to others, and to life ) doesn’t develop by chance. It takes shape over time, beginning in childhood. If we grew up feeling seen, supported, and safe, it was easier to build a solid sense of who we are and how to relate with others. But if we faced fear, confusion, or emotional distance in those early years, we may have learned to disconnect from parts of ourselves just to cope.

This is something many people go through. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you, it means your system found a way to adapt to your early environment. Still, those adaptations can leave lasting patterns that affect how we connect today.

Below is a short self-reflection activity. It’s not a test. There’s no right or wrong answer. Just take your time and choose the option that feels most familiar in each group.

1. Your sense of self
A. I feel like a whole person with a stable sense of who I am
B. I sometimes feel like a different person in different situations
C. I often feel disconnected from myself or unsure if I even matter

2. Connection with your body and inner world
A. I can sense and understand my thoughts, emotions, and body signals
B. I sometimes struggle to know what I feel or what my body is telling me
C. I often feel numb, overwhelmed, or completely disconnected inside

3. Emotional regulation
A. I can recover from stress and stay grounded when things get hard
B. I try to manage emotions but often feel reactive or confused
C. I feel emotionally unstable, lost, or like I can’t handle strong feelings

4. Relationships and social connection
A. I feel safe and fulfilled in my relationships
B. I keep some distance or struggle to trust fully
C. I often feel isolated or hurt in my relationships

5. Capacity for love and intimacy
A. I feel able to love and be loved deeply
B. I want closeness but sometimes avoid it or fear rejection
C. I long for connection but it feels unsafe or out of reach

What to do with your answers
Look at the options you selected. Which letter appears most often : A, B, or C?

• If you chose mostly A, you likely developed a strong internal sense of self and connection. You may have had early relationships that helped you feel safe, valued, and supported.

• If you chose mostly B, you might have learned to adapt by staying cautious, holding back emotions, or managing connection carefully. These strategies may have once protected you but now feel limiting.

• If you chose mostly C, it could mean your system still carries the impact of early emotional pain, disconnection, or unpredictability. That doesn’t define you , it’s simply a signal that you may need deeper healing and support.

We all carry patterns from the past. The good news is that connection can be rebuilt. As we begin to notice how we’ve been organizing our inner world, we open the door to new ways of relating, with more safety, more truth, and more possibility.